Unearthed Jewel No. 6…Do what you want…

Late last night I received a text from my perfect friend. We have this thing we’ve had since our early 20″s called “Brutally Honest.” It’s exactly as it sounds. Whatever life battle we are dealing with at the time and need direction for, we call upon each other for our upmost honest advice and opinions. As tricky as it may seem, it works for us and always has. I am sure that at some point in our early 20’s, while drinking a bottle of horribly cheap white Zinfandel, listening to a Shania Twain CD on repeat, we made a pact to promise we could not get angry with one another. Our brutal honesty has delivered a sharp cut or two, as truth tends to do. However, it has never severed our relationship. That is because our words of wisdom to one another always come from a place of love, trust, and knowing each other well. Brutal honesty, I’ve learned is not for everyone or every relationship. Tread lightly— fair warned! Last night her text was a “brutally honest” Batman symbol in the sky. A “Cackaah, I need my imperfect friend!” Signals– I headed to with a call back. We talked about an hour. Time we hardly ever get due to work, and family obligations. Hashing out one of her life dilemmas, without notice, she stumbled innocently on to one of mine. One I’ve mentioned in passing but felt I had brought upon myself and should just accept. Have you ever had one of those? Something you feel you deserve even though you know it really is not okay? One you accept out of guilt. Her immediate response was, for a lack of better words, “fuck that!” Her advice to remedy my situation came from something another friend said to her, “I do what I want.” She explained that it was a statement that stopped her in her tracks. As if she had never heard those words before. It magically gave her permission to do what she wanted to do. Her new motto…. a statement she had repeated to her husband a time or two recently. One that she had started to live by herself. Let me say, this comes from women who take care of their families, show up for work every day, take care of others and go the extra mile. Who are without a doubt, productive members of society. At same time, refuse to let themselves drown in said responsibilities. Women who can still say, No I won’t do that, or “I’ll do what I want!” Her saying, “Fuck that” to my situation stopped me in my tracks. It freed me and empowered me. When she said it to me, it took my breath away. Knowing we are both responsible, she gave me, “fuck that, I do what I want!” What I want to give back to her are these freedom words…”You absolutely did what you absolutely had to do… just like you always have your whole life. It was not easy then, and it is even harder now. It was still the right thing to do. Fuck that…WE DID WHAT WE HAD TO. Now it’s time to say, “I do what I want!”