Unearthed Jewel No. 1

The perfect imperfect friend. Do you have one? A dear friend of mine yesterday called me her, “Perfectly Imperfect Friend.” I’ve thought about it all day…”Perfectly Imperfect.” I do not think I’ve ever been given a better compliment. It may seem like a bad tribute to some, but I know how much she adores me and that makes it perfect. It is the relationship you have with someone that determines the connotation, or emotional meaning of what they say to you. This was the perfect compliment. Nor has there one been more-fitting! Imperfect should be my middle name! I own it. Some call such a friendship their, “ride or die” or their, “would bury a body!” Even though neither one of us would ever put one another in those situations, that is how society might define our friendship. We’ve been friends for around 28 years! College, boyfriends, jobs, childbirth….the list of life experiences is long and goes on for many years. She knows me well, and I know her. To even have had a friend that long, I consider a major blessing. I have always considered her a very rare jewel but it wasn’t until she called me her, “Perfect Imperfect Friend,” did I really understand what she is a DIAMOND. I’ve always seen her as the wisest between us. The more in control, better with money, better at controlling her emotions, better at math, and definitely more beautiful. I lean on that. I am definitely the more “imperfect one and she leans on that. Don’t get me wrong, we both hold each other to higher standards. I like her role and I like mine. It works! Our worst days might look mostly like someone’s everyday. We do not need to expect a lot from one another because we already know what we expect from our selves. A few weeks ago I told her one of the biggest mistakes I’ve recently made to which she did not bat an eye. Not a flinch, a shudder, nor even a clearing of the throat. Of course, worried about the implications of said decision could have on my life…. there was still no judgment. Only an understanding of where I was coming from. The words or explanation was not needed for she has known my life for many years. Just as I get her. I know her grandmother taught her everything she needs to know….especially her independence, and I respect that. I know that being her friend means leaving her alone when she needs to “lick her wounds” in private. She loves that I give her space when she needs to sort things out without my being in her face. She knows I am here and ready when she is ready to talk. She knows that when I need her…..I need her straight away. Our friendship may seem odd to others. The ebb and flows might not seem like a typical friendship. It is not a typical friendship with nights out, family vacations together, and perfectly matched husbands. We do not require that. In fact, we’ve had fights, misunderstandings, and differences. We’ve politically and religiously been different. Yet, it was her dress I wore to my dad’s funeral. One she told me to come to her house and get when I was in such a haze by his suicide that I had not even realized I had needed. She was thinking for me. It was my pair of expensive black pants she borrowed from my skinny drawer when she was on the news for her professional accomplishments. Thank goodness for my overspending or she would not have had those perfect pants to wear. It is our ebb and flow and it works for us. We do not require much of one another, but we are absolutely there when we need one another. It is our Perfectly Imperfect Friendship that keeps us afloat in this life. After 28 something years, this short snippet hardly seems like anything compared to this relationship in the least. However, if you have someone who loves you…. the imperfect you… without an ounce of hesitation, please know that it is an unearthed jewel in this world. It might just be the rarest you come across.